what age can a child decide which parent they want to live with

1 in four states don't require judge to consider child'south custody preference

November 17, 2020 — Many separating parents mistakenly recall their child can cull whom to alive with.

In reality, Georgia is the but U.Due south. state that lets a kid choose who takes physical custody of them. Even then, the child must be xiv or older, and their option must be canonical past a judge.

Thirteen states don't accept statutes requiring a approximate to consider a child'due south preference when deciding custody. All other states (plus Washington, D.C.) do; judges at that place must accept the views of mature children into account.

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These findings come up from an analysis of electric current land statutes past Custody X Change, which offers parents a web app for managing custody via parenting plans, calendars, expense tracking and more. (Gyre to end for full state-by-country data.)

"If you lot go to court over custody, you demand to empathise your state's approach to many topics, including a kid's right to share their opinion," said Ben Coltrin, Custody X Change co-founder and president. "There's fence over what'southward more important: letting a kid have a say or shielding them from parental disputes. How your state and judge view the issue will affect your case."

"At that place's debate over what's more important: letting a child accept a say or shielding them from parental disputes."
-Ben Coltrin, Custody X Alter president

It'south of import to notation that most custody decisions are fabricated past parents in settlement agreements; these parents tin can consider their child's opinion however they want. When parents can't attain understanding, so a guess decides what custody arrangement would serve the child'due south best interests.

Once the court bug a custody gild, the child must comply. This means your son or daughter cannot turn down to encounter a parent who has been awarded custody or visitation time.

How old must a child exist to weigh in?

All states permit judges to consider the preference of a child in a custody case, as long as the child is sufficiently mature. And, as we saw above, a big portion of states require judges to take a mature kid's opinion into account.

So when is a child mature? Nigh states don't set a specific historic period, instead letting judges decide example by instance.

When statutes do cite an age, xiv is nigh common. 3 states (California, New Mexico and West Virginia) presume children 14 and older are sufficiently mature, while ii (Indiana and Utah) give actress weight to the opinions of kids in this range.

Another four states (Mississippi, Oklahoma, Tennessee and Texas) presume children 12 and upwards are mature enough to form a preference worth examining.

Georgia law sets the youngest age. It says children 11 and upward tin can share their thoughts with the court. (And, call back, Georgia kids at least xiv years old tin can choose which parent to alive with, although a judge can override the choice if necessary.)

All these states give judges leeway to hear from younger children who seem specially mature.

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Overall, the older a kid is, the more impact their wishes accept on their custody example.

If your child is at to the lowest degree 14, a judge in any land is probable to hear what they take to say. On the other hand, a child in the single digits probably won't get to counterbalance in. Children between these two groups fall in a gray area, and whether they tin provide input depends on their state, judge and maturity level.

Nationwide, children 14 and above can usually weigh in on custody rulings. Children 9 and nether usually can't. The remainder fall in a gray area.

How a child'southward stance fits into the big picture

A guess never has to accolade custody according to a child'south wishes. Other factors — such equally each parent's criminal history and bail with the child — always come into play.

In improver, a judge tries to appraise whether a child'southward preference for i parent is due to persuasion or leniency by that parent, which would give the preference less validity from the court'south perspective.

For example, a 15-year-one-time may not become to live with her mom as she wishes if evidence shows the mother lets her drive without a license. In dissimilarity, a 12-yr-old with concrete reasons for preferring a suitable parent could accept considerable influence on a judge'south ruling.

How kids share their opinions

Children typically do not testify about their preferences in court considering the experience tin can be emotional and frightening.

Instead, they unremarkably share their thoughts in conversation with the judge, a custody evaluator or someone appointed by the court to represent their interests (like a guardian ad litem). In Georgia, a kid who's at least xi tin plough in a written affidavit.

Interviews with the estimate take place in the judge's office and are thus known as in-chambers or in-camera hearings. Generally, a court reporter and the child's legal representative attend. Sometimes the parents' attorneys are also allowed in only non the parents themselves.

Some judges ask the child directly whom they'd like to alive with, while others but ask related questions similar, "What do you lot practice for fun with your mom?" In certain states, both parents must consent earlier the child may speak with a approximate. Other factors that vary include whether parents can suggest questions for the interview and whether they tin can read the transcript.

Land-by-state data

Country	Judge must consider a mature child's opinion?	Age guidelines in the law
Alabama	Yep
Alaska	Yes
Arizona	Yes
Arkansas	No
California	Yep	A child 14 or older gets to accost the court, unless the courtroom determines information technology's not in the child's best interest. A child under 14 also gets to address the court if it'south in their best interest.
Colorado	Yes
Connecticut	No
Delaware	Aye
Florida	No
Georgia	Aye	A kid 14 or older has the right to select which parent they live with, unless a estimate finds the selected parent does not serve the child'due south best interests. The judge considers the desires of a child at to the lowest degree 11 merely not yet 14.
Hawaii	Yeah
Idaho	No
Illinois	Yep
Indiana	Yes	The court considers the wishes of the kid, with more consideration given if the child is at least 14.
Iowa	Yes
Kansas	Yes
Kentucky	Yeah
Louisiana	Yeah
Maine	Yeah
Maryland	Yes
Massachusetts	Yeah
Michigan	Yes
Minnesota	Yes
Mississippi	Yes	If the court considers both parents fit to accept custody, the chancellor (judge) may consider the preference of a kid 12 or older.
Missouri	Yep
Montana	No
Nebraska	Yes
Nevada	Yes
New Hampshire	No
New Jersey	Yes
New Mexico	Yes	If the kid is fourteen or older, the court considers their desires. If the kid is under 14, the court decides custody per the kid's all-time interests, because factors like the child's wishes.
New York	No
North Carolina	No
North Dakota	Yep
Ohio	No
Oklahoma	Yes	The child gets to express a preference if the courtroom finds this is in the child's all-time interest. The court considers the preference if the kid is old enough to course an intelligent opinion. In that location's a presumption a child 12 or above is one-time enough.
Oregon	Yep
Pennsylvania	Yep
Rhode Isle	Yes
Southward Carolina	Yes
Due south Dakota	No
Tennessee	Yes	The court considers the reasonable preference of a child 12 or older. The court may hear the preference of a younger child. An older child'southward preference is commonly given greater weight.
Texas	Yes	A child 12 or older gets to speak with the courtroom in individual. A kid under 12 may go to.
Utah	No	The court may consider the wishes of the child, because the child's maturity. The desires of a child 14 or older become added weight.
Vermont	No
Virginia	Yeah
Washington	Aye
Washington, D.C.	Yes
West Virginia	Yeah	The court accommodates the preferences of a child 14 or older, if it's in the child's all-time interests. It too accommodates the preferences of a younger child mature plenty to express an opinion, as long as this is in the child'due south all-time interests.
Wisconsin	Yes
Wyoming	No

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Source: https://www.custodyxchange.com/topics/research/custody-preferences-children.php#:~:text=The%20court%20considers%20the%20preference,or%20above%20is%20old%20enough.&text=The%20court%20considers%20the%20reasonable,preference%20of%20a%20younger%20child.